The Fifth One: Arati Rao

 I'll light the fire

you place the flowers

in the vase

that you bought today

staring at the fire

for hours and hours

while I listen to you

play your love songs

all night long

- "Our House", CSNY

Do you have a few minutes? A favourite corner in the house? Earphones? Take a minute to get yourself organized. Done? Now sit comfortably, breathe, close your eyes. Just before that, hit play on this video below. 

I don't know about you, but I was transported while I heard her sing this piece. She was almost meditating while singing and for those few minutes, so was I. Meet Arati Rao. A practising graphic designer, cook par excellence, a student of Dhrupad, gardener, runner, house proud, and above all a lover of aesthetics. 

"I give aesthetics top priority in life- it reflects in everything I do."

As I talked to her, I realized that we aren't talking only about a visual sensibility, as is commonly understood of the term. Instead it was an overall approach to life. Aesthetics is fundamentally a philosophy concerned with the nature and appreciation of beauty. But beauty being so subjective, I needed to dig deeper to find out what Arati means when she talks about aesthetics. And more importantly, how it impacts her life, as she lives it today. 

For starters, let's talk about the food. She laid out a meal of homemade ricotta cheese and chorizo sausage crumbled on warm toasted bread topped with finely chopped chives, a salad with perfectly chopped Lollo Rosso and Kale leaves, onions and apples (courtesy her sous-chef, husband Roy, also the previous firefly chatter), and a pasta drenched in olive oil, fresh organic veggies and a Thai basil pesto sauce that she had created herself. She was inspired by a version of pesto she had eaten in Cambodia at a riverside, off-the-grid kinda place they had stayed at. She says of that pesto, 

"I remember that feeling, and that picture of the pesto floating in olive oil, and I try and recreate that."

Even though she substituted some of the ingredients, her inspiration was that feeling, that memory. This is clearly someone who is very present to a multi-sensorial experience of food. She also tells me that she gets bored easily and needs variety. That explains why she creates a different menu every day at home. And it could range from Korean to Japanese to Colombian to the cuisine from every state in India. Wow. *Note to self- get yourself invited to their house more often. She adds to her repertoire during her travels and eating at people's homes, finding the cook, digging out the details of the recipes and then experimenting with it. 

As I watched her cook, I also noticed that she is terribly neat. The salad leaves are washed, dried and arranged symmetrically, the onions have been sliced, the walnuts toasted, the apples will be cut just before we eat, as will the leaves. The organic veggies have been sautéed and sit pretty on the gas waiting to meet the pasta. And the layers for the starter are ready and neatly placed at the centre of the table. When I tell her I am ravenous, everything is rustled up in 5-10 minutes and we are ready to gorge on the deliciousness. 

I ask her about her love for cooking and she begins by telling me that her first attempt at cooking was an Indian meal for Roy post marriage- Roti that looked like some burnt papad, a dal and some veggies. Roy apparently was shocked to find out that she could cook even that much. Considering he couldn't cook, the thought that they might starve propelled her on her culinary journey. And we are all grateful for it because By God, her food is something else. I first stuffed down about 5 pieces of that starter into my mouth and then proceeded to ask her why she loved cooking. 

"I find it meditative, it helps my mind focus. I like watching textures and colours come together, the process of transformation that happens, and above all the joy of sharing and watching people eat the food I make. Plus I am a foodie. I don't think you can enjoy cooking unless you are a foodie."

But you can be a foodie and not enjoy cooking. Case in point, me. So is it instinctive, I ask? Is she one of the lucky ones who just has it? Her husband pipes in and tells me that in her case, it is more about being systematic and methodical. Her spice jars are organized, her culinary instruments are all easily accessible and she ensures that her workspace is always clean. In fact she tells me, that if she could be a cleaner she would. The joy of cleaning, organizing and planning to meticulous detail are her fundamentals. Her canvas so to speak. 

Her cooking process has a foundation of logic, a method that involves intense planning and a systematic approach, considered and deliberate. Unlike my mother, for example, who does absolutely all her cooking with very little planning and a lot more "andaaz", which translates to "everything by rough estimation". Basically, guesswork and instinct. It's messier but like Arati says, equally valid. 

"For good taste, you don't necessarily need a system, but if you have to be consistent, you need some method."

She gets her logical mind from her father, she says, and for her the joy seems to be as much in the process as it is in the creation. At the moment, she is busy making copious notes of every meal she prepares for guests, noting the quantities, the ingredients, proportions, what she needs to cut down and what she needs to add to the recipes. All this in preparation for the retreat space that she is in the process of creating along with her husband. More on that later. They do an Onam sadya for 40 people every year and that has given her some practice. Gulp. I tried one Onam sadya and people are most grateful that it was my mother who did the cooking. 

And then she tells me she doesn't taste the food. What? That is some confidence, I thought. That is her instinct element, she tells me, based on experience. Personally I loved this approach to cooking, a system, a method, a logical way of going about it, as the foundation. And then top it up with the magic of instinct, of allowing those colours and textures to come together, transform, and create a multi-sensorial experience. An open kitchen also makes a difference, she says. I heartily agree. The weaving together of cooking, conversation, music, really does come alive in that open space. 

I ask her about the roots of her aesthetic sensibilities and she gives all the credit to her mother who was very house proud. There was a lot of  "conscious thought" put into every item, every choice made for the house. Their home growing up always reflected a love for beauty and Arati has imbibed it and made it her own. In fact, she has expanded it to include so many more elements. That's coming up after we chat a little more about her childhood shenanigans. 

Apart from the beauty around her, I ask her what childhood was like and she tells me she was an outright rebel. She found herself constantly questioning who she could be rather than who she should be. This streak of independence created its share of friction, but to Arati's credit, she never gave in. And to her parent's credit, they let her rebel. 

"I was always the odd one out, never fit in, thought differently from everyone else around me. I didn't want to study, I didn't really care about achieving. I wanted to be happy doing what I was doing."

For an academic and achievement obsessed culture like ours, that certainly sounded out-of-the-box. It must have also been a little lonely. She describes herself as someone who always had very few close friends. But all that changed when she began to find her tribes. I don't think she realized she was looking for one, until she actually heard and felt that click. 

It first happened in design school. But before that, why design, I ask. The rebel in her wanted to do something alternative. She had been interested in drawing, having been exposed to the arts as a child. A series of coincidences plus a considered discussion with her parents led her to design school in Bangalore, At design school, she met people as " kirk" as her( for the uninitiated, kirk is Tamil for a touch of quirk). Both husband and wife kirk in their own wonderful ways, I thought! I probe further about being a designer and she says,

"I like working to a brief. I like that it is process based. I can't imagine creating something out of nothing like artists do."

How did this love for process fit into her love for aesthetics? This happy marriage became clearer as we discussed the home that she has built with Roy. They initially wanted to move out of the city looking for a quieter life but as real life happened, they needed to find a way to do that bang in the middle of Bangalore. The opportunity came a few years ago when they got the go-ahead to build over his childhood home.

The influences on the house have been many. Starting with a stint in Sri Lanka where they were first exposed to Geoffrey Bawa's architecture. Specifically, nature being part of the house in a big way, the inside and the outside merging, the sense of openness. She says she wanted trees around her and they are lucky enough to be surrounded by Eucalyptus, African Tulip, Jackfruit, Mango and Rain trees, just to name a few. They spent a year and a half planning and designing the house with the architect. The brief was "open, bright, green". See the pictures below and you decide if it's on brief. And the green part is all Arati's gardening handiwork which she has carefully cultivated over the last few years. 

The other big influence has been sustainability. They had already been living a more environmentally conscious life, saving water, composting, recycling for the last many years and they followed the same philosophy while building the house.All the material choices were made based on minimal wastage. Building on an older structure required that they had to be conscious of the weight of the house. Madras ceilings with hollow bricks were used to lighten the load, which also helps cool the space naturally. 

She also told me that all the wood in the house was bought from a demolished house on Museum road. I didn't even know you could do that! Barring one or two bigger pieces, each and every door and window, cupboard and even perches for the two cats have been reused as is from that old house. A linseed oil finish for the interior of the wood ensured minimal use of chemicals. Most of the furniture was bought second-hand, some of the blinds are from her mother's old saris  and they also managed to get a few antique pieces as family heirlooms.  

I want to take a minute to talk about the tiles, because I fell in love with them. Not just with the design but also with the mad ways they brought it all together. They scoured old godowns and factories, mixed and matched, 3 tiles of this colour, 2 of that, 20 tiles of glossy finish, 10 of matte and somehow it all worked. They chose handmade Athangudi cement tiles  for some of the flooring and customized them to give it a modern twist. And in one case and as Arati describes it, " a khachak moment", they replaced the idea of having a black board with a bare, plastered cement wall after she noticed that the electrician's chalk markers worked just as well. Genius move. And another nod to Arati's aesthetics- it flows based on observation and she isn't afraid to let go of an initial idea in favour of a better one. 

And finally, we come to my favourite room in the house. M3 as Arati likes to call it; Music, meditation and massage is a dome room with great acoustics, and it is here that she does her riyaaz, meditates and also where we sat for hours, talking. Oh by the way, she is also a trained Thai masseuse, something she took up after a masseuse fixed her back in Sri Lanka. More on that later. 

After the house, we moved to her music and how that fit into her sense of aesthetics. It surprised me to hear that for years she hesitated to call herself a singer or a musician because she never really practised daily or by herself. She had a more superficial relationship with music and singing, she says. I told her to start from the beginning. No, she didn't start singing do re me( Sound of music people!).

Instead, she tells me of the fond memories she has of singing english songs with her sister and father while he played the guitar. She could sing, but it was a talent she never took too seriously. That was until she went for a Sunaad production, a Hindustani Classical music group that specializes in Dhrupad, the oldest surviving classical style of Hindustani vocal music. I googled the origins of the name, and it comes from "Dhruva-pada", simply meaning 'refrain'. How beautiful is that. Arati tells me that in its original form, this style was meant to be a "path to God", a more spiritual and pure form of sound. Her knowledge on the history of the music is impressive, but what was even more moving to me was her relationship with it. She says of her voice, 

"I was always more Annie Lennox than Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey. They have a lot of movement in their singing. The embellishments of Khayal never came naturally to me. I was looking for a way that sound could become my meditation and that required a certain stillness."

Dhrupad has given her that. She recalls the first time she heard a Sunaad concert and was moved to tears listening to the music. She remembers being completely blown away by it, going backstage to talk to the singers and eventually, finding her second tribe. What does it take to feel like a tribe, I wondered. 

"I could talk to every single person in that group. There was warmth, openness and an unconditional love that embraces everyone. The conversations stemmed from a spiritual hunger, the need to live more mindfully, to connect with our higher energies."

When she first started going to Sunaad, her biggest joy was meeting the people. She would force herself to go every Saturday morning, even after a late night of partying, just to be part of that sangha. Slowly but surely, the music drew her in, her voice opened up and she began to expand her range. She has been training extensively for the last couple of years, taking one-on-one classes and in the process is discovering the magic of her own voice. 

Today she does her riyaaz, her kharaj as the first thing after waking up, even if it's not early in the morning as it is meant to be done. I learnt that kharaj is the lower octave sung best at about 4:30 am which is when universal energies are meant to be very pure as per the Hindu tradition. Well, she isn't a morning person so 4:30 am ain't happening, but the voice meditation is a daily ritual.

Another area that helped expand her journey of self discovery and aesthetics is movement. Until her 8th grade she was an active child, learning Bharatnatyam, playing basketball, athletics, throwball, shortput, the list is endless. A congenital condition caused an issue with her back and for the next 13 years she led a fairly sedentary life. She just had no idea what to do with her body. A massage in Sri Lanka helped open up her back and a few months later she realized the pain was gone, and a whole new process of discovery began for her. 

Dancing all night on the beaches of Sri Lanka is a joyous memory and it changed her relationship with her body. Since then she has explored movement therapies like Attakalari and 5 rhythms. But it was finally during covid and lockdown in Thailand that she discovered her love for running. She saw people around her running constantly and one day she just started too. As simple as that. It combines her need for movement, her love for nature and her desire to go into a meditative space. 

How does she find time for all her passions? A conversation with her best friend helped her articulate how she measures her days. The question she asks herself is this, " What are the things in a day that you have to do, for you to say you had a good day? Start with just one thing. When you measure your days like that, it doesn't matter if you are mindless about other things." Really great advice, right? For her it is cooking, singing, gardening and running. What are yours? 

As we end our conversation, she crystallises her relationship with aesthetics, and its connection with her spirituality. 

"Beauty is something that has the power to transform you. As human beings the body is our medium to experience anything and the senses are the first step. The mind is as much a sense but it tends to stop you from being in the moment and accessing your higher self. You have to find a way to let go of the senses and go beyond the mind." 

This need to be in the present moment has been a constant. And it felt like her philosophy, her aesthetics, her voice, were all pathways towards the now, rather than an end goal for the future. Which is why she isn't concerned with perfection as much as she is concerned with how much she is enjoying herself, how effortless it is for her, and how much it allows her to transcend her mind. 

A few years ago, a transformational shamanic experience in the Amazonian forests of Colombia helped her let go of any doubt about who she was and where she needed to spend her energies. She had become quite disillusioned with the commercial aspect of design and generally feeling quite uninspired when this experience came along. The decade long search for her purpose was finally clarified and this idea of a retreat space was born. This was a calling which combined all her passions and she could make a living from it. What I find special is that rather than a journey towards self-actualisation or a purely commercial agenda, it is actually a need to give back to the world. She says, 

"My biggest gratitude in life has been for the people. Each person has brought inspiration, influences, joy. I am always amazed how the right person arrives when the time is right, for the right reasons. Even places and travel has been about the people."

It is with this sense of gratitude that she is preparing to create a retreat space. They are still trying to figure out what exactly the space will be, but I get the feeling that food, music, dancing and movement, art. conversation and even silences will come together and create something very special. There is much to look forward to for those of us craving such spaces and experiences. 

When she initially thought about the soundtrack of her life, she didn't really have one in mind. Maybe an instrumental piece. So I let her mull over it. I got a message later that evening announcing that her song was "Our house" by CSNY. I hadn't heard it, but when I did, I thought it was perfect for her. Have a listen here: 

I was given a doggy bag of some delicious sugar-free chocolate and banana dessert. May her tribe increase, I say. And here's to many more "khachak" moments. 

She isn't on social media ( she will be when the retreat space starts coming together) but for now you can follow Sunaad here: 

https://www.facebook.com/sunaadblr/