The Second One: Ankit Tejpal

 "I want to be an artist, and live like a painting,

Dyed in the colour of my creator,

I live that way as long as I wish...

looked at by the world, with an eye of grace, 

cleaned everyday with a smile on their face, 

framed in gold and preserved forever

never to be auctioned in a market of the clever,

never to see an exhibition of the wise,

or to hold the tags of price,

I want to be a philosopher and live like an idea, 

resting in the mind of my thinker,

never disclosed or given in charity,

but lived every moment in celebration."

- Ankit Tejpal 

"Vibe." The Merriam Webster dictionary defines the meaning of the word as "a distinctive feeling or quality capable of being sensed." My second guest, Ankit Tejpal is exactly that. A vibe.  

I was scurrying around trying to find his house, so was quite a harrowed version of myself when I arrived on that Sunday afternoon. I walked into his living room, and almost instantly felt a sense of calm. It was as if something had whispered into my ear," Shhh. Quiet. Just breathe." And so I did. Shortly after, I broke a vase, but more on that later. There is only so much graceful movement I can manage before the inner banshee takes over. 

But more on Ankit. By day he is a fashion designer with Amazon, for their menswear brands. By night he is an artist, a sustainability advocate, a lover of beauty, laugh-out-loud hilarious when he is in the mood, and a fabulous cook. He told me to come hungry, and Thank God I did. The meal he laid out was honestly not conducive to conversation. I should have just been eating without a word, it deserved that much respect. But we did manage to talk through stuffed faces. I have pictures of that sublime meal for all you hungry people. And I hope I can capture some of that vibe I told you about. But first, the food. Salivate, people.

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There are so many facets to Ankit, his art, his philosophy, his space, his being, that I don't know where to begin. So let me pause. Breathe. Take a minute to remember the little things. 

Like the jar of fresh grapefruit juice he made me. It was the perfect shade of pink. Or the low seating where I sat cross-legged, staring out of his small balcony door at a coconut tree, while he rustled up a charcuterie board. There was  Portuguese music playing in the background, a light breeze, and the chime was dutifully dancing along. The smell of palo santo wafted across the room. Sigh. Just describing what I saw and felt around me is so calming. You should try it sometime. This was the mood, the vibe in my long, and languid chat with Ankit.

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"It's all about what you do, when you aren't doing anything."

Aha. Interesting. So I set out to understand exactly that. What does Ankit do, when he does nothing? Listening to him, it seemed like he tries to steal time away from time. A second, a minute, a few moments. And then he pays attention. Acute attention. 

One of his current projects is creating a mini flip book with hand-drawn, wordless images. He imagines people carrying this little book in their pockets, and flipping it out when they need a minute for themselves. To just wordlessly stare at a stream of pictures, without having to think. 

Another project, involves magnification. He finds that staring at an ant, or a flower, or a leaf, or anything for that matter, through a magnifying glass is an experience of minute attention.It forces you to pause, to absorb details, To stare. To sense. To feel. 

I asked him why such a strong need for stillness. I mean I know the world can be a mad place, but doesn't staying still, paying too much attention freeze your brain or something? It would mine, I think. He corrected me. On the contrary, he loves movement. 

"We live in a constantly moving universe, that's why you have to be the still one, from time to time. And equally be conscious of all the movement around you."

Ah. Right. So we aren't talking about a permanent Buddha state here. We are instead looking for ways to allow a dance between pausing and moving. Change he says, is inevitable, but to find moments of coming back to the present, to sense something beyond yourself, is so important in the world we live in. I agree. 

This sense of sensing, wasn't something he was born with. His first fascination was the finite human form. He remembers being drawn to biological diagrams and spent hours getting lost in class, doodling, sketching figurines of women and faces. His puts his initial fascination for drawing and sketching down to genes, his father is a very gifted man. The pull towards human anatomy? He shrugs, "I don't know why." Fair enough. He experimented with materials like coffee and charcoal and drew real people, people he met in the course of life. 

After exploring the human form endlessly, he felt the need to delve into more abstract art, which spoke to him at a deeper level. I was curious about this transition, and he says,

"The most difficult thing in the world is to get the attention of the human mind. If it sees something that is too obvious or familiar, like a human form, it quickly moves on. With an abstract piece. there are many layers to appreciate. It gives me much more scope to play in my head."

      

He stares at clouds for hours, imagining figures being made as they float around the canvas that is the sky, he looks at a random coffee patch and is fascinated by its various shapes. He is mesmerized by lighting and the constant play between light and shadow. This fascination with the abstract isn't restricted to his art, it seems to be a fundamental lens through which he sees the world. He says,

"You can view the same thing through multiple perspectives. There isn't just one way of seeing anything."

I love the vastness of this creative spirit, that at the same time, craves a more rooted intimacy with the world. He works with residue, paper, coffee, tea, charcoal, wood to create his art. It is one of the ways by which he has a visceral connection with natural materials.  

His love for nature and all its elements came through most strongly in these two pieces below. When I first saw them, I have to be honest, I asked myself what is the big deal with these two blocks of wood. That was until he told me that he had created them entirely on paper, using only coffee, tea and charcoal. 

" Whaaaaaat?",  I screeched, almost not believing him. "Imitate something natural, touch something within your reach,' he said in response. No Ankit, you do that because you do it beautifully. I will stick to words for now. 

         

This rootedness is also evident in his love of small spaces. He grew up in a small house and says that he wouldn't know what to do with a very large space. There is an inwardness that is evident in his house. Every corner is a cozy, intimate space that is both a sanctuary for him, and a space for real connection, something he feels is sorely lacking in today's world. He says this, about why he prefers low seating in his house. 

"How you sit, your posture, affects the way you think and says so much about you. I love cultures where you sit around a small table, or on the floor, share a meal and conversation. That's what intimate spaces give you- human connection."

And it was so true. We sat around for hours, eating and talking around this small table, which used to be a school bench. There is another piece in his house, which is an imitation of an old Swedish meat cutting table, that he made from scratch. Yes, he does that too. Makes furniture. I was walking around admiring the tables, when I knocked down the vase into smithereens. Oops. 

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Thankfully, he is a gracious host. And it is a big part of his creative expression. He loves to figure out what someone needs, the vibe they want and knows how to create a beautiful experience. I can vouch for that. When he told me he had been preparing for this day for a week, because he knew it was important to me, it just blew my mind. That's the kind of  human he is. It showed in every thoughtful attention to detail. Here's how he describes his relationship with beauty.

"Beauty has to come from thoughtfulness. I make a conscious effort to make my external beautiful so I can absorb from that. What you see is what you become."

He has had many years of training himself on how to see. Both himself and the world. "While everyone around me was producing babies and standing in school queues, I was sitting at home, feeling rejected by the world, learning how to make myself a nice meal. Over the years, I have trained myself to be okay." What does being okay mean? 

" You have to come back home innocent."

He has this picture up in his bathroom that reminds him that to be innocent, one has to be shameless, to be totally okay with who you are, not needing anyone else's validation. 

I found that beautiful, this sense of home within oneself which in Ankit's words, is a state of no shame. And this need to stay innocent in a world that is dragging you in the other direction. Years ago, on one of his travels, he met an eclectic woman in freetown christiania and she said something to him that has stayed with him, "Only freedom is holy." He guards his freedom fiercely, and it is this freedom that allows him to create. And perhaps, it is what he creates that gives him his freedom. 

 

He has spent time obsessing equally over Hinduism and Sufism, falling in love with Sufi poetry, and seeking answers to some of the larger questions in life. He is excited about transitioning to the other side, like the flip of a page, with no idea of what's to come. But while he is here, he intends to fully live the adventure that is life. A quote by a poet from long ago, that still moves him, " Not for me a calm mind that is too still to be creative, God bless me with a storm: make me a restless sea."

His creative life is so full of contradictions, and it is amazing how he holds space for all of it. There is rootedness and fluidity, the need for solitude and for connection, a sense of calm, and one of mad adventure. His generosity comes from a deep sense of gratitude for all that life has given him. It is with this spirit that he wants to give back, to help, to be of service. Whether that is through his art, his efforts at sustainable living, cooking a meal for a friend, or creating spaces imbued with intimacy. This is his creative essence that I found most nourishing.

"Creativity is anything that creates a feeling of awe in the other person. A huge impact is nothing but a collection of small things, and all these things are within our reach."

One last thing. He is fascinated with languages he doesn't understand. But he has no interest in mastering any of them. Instead, it seems to have made him more sensitive to other faculties such as the voice, which he believes is a very powerful tool. What does he want to do with his voice, I asked?

"I want to be an artist and a philosopher."

You are both already, Ankit. 

The music he chose for himself ? Beautiful Tango by Hindi Zahra. Have a listen here: 

We spent a lovely afternoon at the Maya bazaar in Bangalore. He bought me  photographs that would remind me of him, I bought him some art he loved. We both did tarot sessions, chuckled at ourselves, chatted some more, and walked around soaking in the sun and the vibe. Perfect.

Check out his artworks at: 

https;//www.instagram.com/residue_handworks/

residuehandworks.wixsite.com/ankittejpal